My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
