so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize