so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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