Do you still have your period?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
