Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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