we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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