If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize