the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize