If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
