Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
God gave him joint rollers for hands
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
