Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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