elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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