He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
