Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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