I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
