dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
