would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
