walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
