You smell like a Billy Joel song
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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