he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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