Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize