he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
