I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Randomize
