soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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