The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize