buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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