The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
