Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
someone owes me an orgasm
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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