Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why do cheetos always look like penises
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
