good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
