Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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