I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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