Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize