My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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