You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
