Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This is the high leading the old right now
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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