How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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