cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
