didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
