A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
