I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
