So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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