Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
