some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
