So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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