doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can I color on your dick again?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You've changed since you got that strap on
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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