I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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