Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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