I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
