By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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