Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize