On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
