i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
