I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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