Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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