Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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