it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
