And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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