I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
