Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
