That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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