I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
