I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
