About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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