i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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