I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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