I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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