just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
