Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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