Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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