U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
