he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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