You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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