It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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